In the Time of the Twin

I decided it was time to launch this baby into the universe. Where it will go I can't say. I created these photos and writing over the past 10 years and then abruptly decided they go together.

Karen is doing her usual admirable job of composing the book and we hope to have it in print soon, courtesy of an online self publishing site that allows you to make really elegant books.

I composed this draft version myself and am happy if you want to download it and use the photos and words as you see fit. Here is the URL for the download. You have to cut and paste it into your browser and go.

https://files.me.com/raff4258/wcyyd2

The book is 55 pages, 28 of which are photos, so it's 27 megabytes altogether. If you have a fast connection that is 2-3 minutes but if not be patient.

All the best

Gil

Winter Styling

I titled this blog entry "Winter Styling" because Gil and I spent a wintry day at the mall getting him some new clothes and in the joy of the moment, he found this wool felted Panama hat which just completed the whole ensemble. As he posed for this photo, I vaguely remembered what I "thought I remembered" was an Alfred Steiglitz portrait of Georgia O'Keeffe in a similar Panama hat but after "googling" the photo, I learned it was an Ansel Adams photo of Georgia and actor, Orville Cox!

In addition to new pants and shoes (and the last pair of winter leather gloves which were on sale to make room for the newly arrived summer bathing suits!), we spent the day getting trendier eyeglasses for Gil and having lunch. (Head to toe style makeover.)

Currently, Gil is in North Carolina attending a week long course in one of his other interests -- financial investing. While he's away, my mom has been visiting and we're having another good week-long visit.

She's been here to Michigan four times since Labor Day, she recounts, and her friends back home ask her if she's planning to move here!? "Not yet," she says with a smile.

Marika is still hard at work in Santa Barbara getting caught up with classwork that she had postponed while she concentrated on her MCAT studies last month. In the meantime, she turned 22 on Valentine's Day and is going to Las Vegas this coming weekend with her girlfriends, one of which is flying out to California from Michigan for the celebration.

Adam and Laura continue with wedding planning while Adam continues to research his options for residency programs after graduation.

Evan is also looking into residency programs. There is so much groundwork to be done in preparation for residency matching. You almost need a degree in project management to make it all happen. Nothing gets left to chance. It's all about strategic positioning!

I am doing as many creative things as I can find to do. A little of this. A little of that. Keeping the birds well-stocked with oil sunflower seeds and suet for the winter. Making sure Willow continues to grow up to be the wonderful dog and pet we expect her to be. And, of course, Pilates three times a week with aerobics at the YMCA on in-between days.

Haiku:

Gil gone for the week

Mom here for mid-winter break

Good times had by all.

A Little Piece of Paradise

It's official: the MCAT is over! The past few months have been full of exhaustion, long hours logged in the library, and turning down more than a few social invites. There is no doubt in my mind I wouldn't have made it without my wonderful family and friends cheering me along the way. They certainly gave me the strength to get through what I felt was the biggest test of mental and physical endurance thus far in my short life.

My daily life has changed drastically since I took the test this past Saturday. It went from waking up at 6 am to cram in some studying before a full day of classes to leisurely having my morning coffee, ambling to the gym, and taking an afternoon nap. Relaxing has never felt so good. I have to admit however, I didn't exactly remember how to "do nothing" and my first attempts at relaxation were slightly anxiety provoking!

Conquering this test has made me feel as if I can tackle anything that life throws at me down the road. Following graduation in June I will be heading to Honduras for my second medical brigades trip and then it's back to Michigan where I will spend a year doing clinical research at the University of Michigan.

My biggest challenge in the coming weeks will be soaking up the California sun and enjoying my last months at UCSB. Vegas and Mexico trips have already been booked so you can see I am making up for lost time!

I will send some of the Santa Barbara sunshine to all of you suffering from the long midwestern winter and for everyone else enjoy a few extra rays on me.

And yes, that is the view from my balcony. My parents thought they were paying tuition but it's more like resort dues.

All my love,

Marika

A Willow-Centric Life

Here we are mid-month and I'm updating the blog as promised. We've had the past two weeks to ourselves and though we love, love, love having friends and family around, it's been complete bliss being here together alone -- with the exception of the furry little paws that follow our every move.

Why can't I think of a way to harness all that wonderful dog energy? Herding sheep is a total waste of this dog-given energy. Willow finished her 6-week Agility Class and came in second place on the final night of competition. She's a natural.

Gil and I just got back from a weekend meditational retreat in North Carolina. It was informative, spiritual and restful. Met 20 others who were there to learn about the ancient Hindu meditation practices. What a different sort of "vacation" that was!

By the time I post the next blog entry on February 1st, Marika will have taken the MCAT. She will be relieved. I will be relieved. Gil will be relieved. Her brothers will be relieved. She can go back to having a good life.

We're planning a trip in March to Hawaii to stay in our timeshare on the island of Kauai. The last time we were there was December 2008. A month later I had a seizure and was diagnosed with a benign meningioma (the size of an apple) which was successfully surgically removed. Fortunately, there were no complications and my only deficit is a less-than-perfect sense of direction and slightly impaired map-reading. Thank heavens for GPS and turn-by-turn directions.

How many of you know, or remember, the performance artist Laurie Anderson? We recently went to see one of her performances in Ann Arbor at The Power Center and she is just as innovative and creative as we remember her. What a treat!

Gil is doing very well. He's working hard on research projects. He's feeling good and goes swimming as often as he can. His office in downtown Milford has worked out well for him -- a quiet place without distraction to read studies when he's on-call, get his manuscript writing done and follow his cardiac CT projects' progress.

It's Restaurant Week in Ann Arbor this week and we're meeting our theater group friends at one of the new restaurants there -- Mercy's in The Bell Tower. Gil and I are having date nights on Wednesday nights and we're planning to go to all the Detroit Free Press "Ten Best of 2010" restaurant recommendations during the course of the year.

Haiku:

State of the Union

What can we expect from it?

Will this be the year?

The New Year 2011

Greetings for the New Year 2011!

For those of you tuning in to our Raff Update blog for the first time because you saw the link on our holiday card, a little history.

We started this blog site back in June 2009 when Gil was diagnosed with leukemia. It was the perfect way to give information about his condition -- and thank God -- his subsequent recovery during and after his successful bone marrow transplant in October 2009.

Since then, we try to update the site twice a month. I'm going to try to provide updates on the 1st and 15th of each month so there will be a reason for you to check back here to learn what the Raffs are up to.

It will be a year for a wedding, and a college graduation and some travel for business and pleasure.

The photo above shows Evan and Marika walking our two dogs, Jamie and Willow, on our local Milford Bike Trail a few days after Christmas. It was a cold, windy day and we came upon only one other person on the trail.

We had a house filled with family over the recent holidays. My mom (from Kentucky) and my brother (now living in Rochester, NY) were here. Adam (without Laura who was still working in LA), Evan and Marika were all here.

Slowly over the past week we've made multiple trips to the airport to get everyone back to their homes. We're down to only Marika at home now. And she leaves for Santa Barbara this Sunday to start the Winter Quarter of her senior year. (Spring Quarter will be her last academic quarter as a college student.)

Then it will be back to our "nuclear family" -- Gil, me, Jamie and Willow.

We're planning a trip to North Carolina in early January attending a 2-day retreat/workshop which will be of the meditational variety. We've never done this before. Don't know exactly what to expect except we're supposed to bring our yoga mats and pillows! Marika teases us and taunts that we're headed to an ashram! (Will let you know what it was all about in my next blog entry.)

Oh, and for those of you who are new to our site, I usually close with a haiku:

Holidays over

Hate waiting another year ...

To do it again.

It's the price you pay for the gifts you get

When I was a kid this phrase occurred to me whenever I seemed to have more stress than I wanted in life (especially doing homework!). It's come to mind lately when I think of Adam and Evan going through the transition from 'ordinary' times to 3rd yr med students with 36 hour shifts starting at 6 AM. As Evan said 'Damn, this is really hard!' You can't know beforehand exactly what it's like to be a doctor. Marika also has gone through tough times recently in simultaneously taking a heavy course load and studying for the medical college admission test.

Yesterday, I thought of this phrase also during Bonnie Opper's funeral. The turnout was enormous and it was obvious that she had touched so many people. The entire experience has left me thoughtful about what we leave behind. Since we had our transplants the same day, it naturally reminded me that my longevity is not great.

I've received a lot of gifts in my life. I've mentioned 3 already and a 4th (Karen) many times. I need to add my sisters (Genie and Meryl)and my cousins, who have given me so much, including new bone marrow. Taking photos is another...I don't have to work at it very hard, and the results seem to give a lot of pleasure to people. The books I wrote in 1995 and 2000 were similar; I don't know exactly where they came from. I'd put medical research in the same category; it wasn't something I expected and it's been very rewarding.

Having leukemia and surviving is also a gift, believe it or not. When my friend Jim Goldstein asked me if this changed my perspective, I said no. That was soon after I returned to work and my mind was filled with the urgency to pick up all the pieces. But gradually I realized that I do see the world differently. For one thing, I'm happier. This is it for me; I don't have forever so I'd better pay attention to how beautiful the world is. In one of his books, Carlos Castenada's character Don Juan told him to 'take death as your advisor'.

Bonnie's death was sad for about 1 day. Then I realized that it's the price you pay for the gifts you get.

Gil

Losing Bonnie

Our friend and fellow stem cell transplant recipient, Bonnie Opper, died this morning. We are devastated. We did not get to say "goodbye" to her. Our community has lost a gentle, loving, devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister and human being.

This photo was taken on October 14th, 2010.

We were having our monthly dinner at Outback Steakhouse in Lansing. We were celebrating our one year anniversary of stem cell transplant. Bonnie and Steve brought their daughter, Callie, who ordered her favorite "macaroni and cheese." I had just handed out a photo album of our past year year of recovery to Bonnie and to Mark Cornell, our other transplant recipient.

They turned the pages, recalling the moments we all shared together on the hospital unit during the transplantation and the months of recovery that followed. We laughed. We cried. We rejoiced.

We had a wonderful evening together that night and Bonnie brought the "carrot cake" which we also had at our "100 Days" celebration dinner together. It seemed as if it was going to become a "tradition." It seemed as if it was going to be another good year for all three of us.

It wasn't to be.

We have lost a comrade, a friend, a survivor who did not survive.

We will remember her.

Haiku:

You were one of us

'Til you were taken away

Life won't be the same.