Border Collies

Okay. We're obsessed with border collies. But everyone holds a special place in their hearts for their "first love" whether it was a girlfriend or boyfriend or a first dog.

This will be a relatively short entry because I intend to update the blog early next week when we have real pictures of our new puppy to show and hopefully know her new name.

We've had quite a time trying to come up with the right name. It has to "fit" her look and personality and we haven't even met her yet. The name has to work phonetically with Jamie. As in Haley and Jamie.

We each have our favorite names we're holding onto but in the end, you know we will need to compromise.

Marika takes her summer school final on Friday morning. She then heads to the airport to catch a flight to Michigan. I will pick her up at the Detroit airport at midnight. She claims she is going to get up early Saturday morning so we can drive up to Traverse City -- a four hour drive -- to get the puppy. We'll stay overnight and come back on Sunday.

Then the real fun begins!

Haiku:

What could be better

Than puppy breath on your face?

Nothing I know of.

Summer Garden

It's the middle of July -- what I consider to be halfway through summer -- and my garden is thriving in spite of lots of hot weather and foraging deer. I wish the deep purple wave petunias in the foreground of the photo were perennials because of their rich color, but alas they are annuals and will need to be planted each year.

Gil and I are in Las Vegas this weekend as Gil attends the annual SCCT (Society for Cardiac Computed Tomography) where he is a Board Member, Fellow and Faculty presenter this week. It is REALLY hot here -- 112 degrees when we arrived yesterday at the airport. We'll be back home from this trip on Sunday.

Prior to this trip, I was in Kentucky for my high school's 40th reunion and I had a wonderful time catching up with everyone there. I stayed with my mom while I was there and those are always good visits for us.

While I was in Kentucky, Gil drove himself to Chicago for a national guidelines meeting on echocardiography for three days. Although we both enjoy traveling, and have only recently been allowed by the doctors to make these trips due to Gil's as yet immature immune system status, we'll be glad to get back to spending the remainder of summer in Michigan which is always so perfect this time of year.

Gil started back to work full-time the end of June with his only restriction that he not have patient contact at this time until his immune system is ready for that. He's happy to be pouring his full efforts back into research and contributing to radiation dose reduction in cardiac CT -- a metric that has been in the news a lot these days.

Marika is halfway through her Kaplan MCAT Review Course in Santa Barbara and will be coming back to Michigan to spend her last month of summer with us arriving July 31st.

Adam and Evan are getting the hang of their first clinical rotations and feeling sleep deprived, and stressed to be their best during the long and arduous days that dealing with sick patients requires. Everyone in medicine goes through those days of incredible tiredness and feelings of inadequacy -- after all, they're learning how to be doctors and that's complicated-- and it's going to take a while to fall into step. Laura tells me she is doing everything she can to help Adam and Evan get through these first trying weeks by offering her support, and healthy cooking and understanding.

Although we think of Haley every day and how much we miss her in our family, we have been looking around for another border collie puppy to bring home and we have found one! She will be eight weeks old the end of July. Marika and I will travel up to Traverse City here in Michigan to pick her up when Marika gets home for the summer in a few weeks.

The puppy is adorable and I'll be posting a blog entry with her picture when we bring her home on August 1st.

Gil got himself the iPad and the iPhone 4. He "bequeathed" his Kindle to me and I'm enjoying reading my books on it. (Do you remember when he was in hospital last year and we got him the new Kindle which he was so delighted to have?!) I'm reading The Black Swan now about uncertainty and liking its message.

This next Haiku is for Vanessa, a friend of Adam's and Evan's, who selflessly offered to pick Evan up from the LA airport when he flew home a couple of weeks ago.

Haiku:

Vanessa's taxi

Riding home in luxury

A traveler's friend.

Farewell to Haley

Sadly for the Raff family tonight, Haley left us for her next adventure in that big dog park in the sky. Hopefully, she is frolicking with her friends and chasing frisbees and tennis balls and eating carrots (her favorite dog treat) to her heart's content.

Thirteen years ago, our young children were asking us for a pet dog. I was fine with the idea because my family had always had dogs. But Gil had not grown up with dogs and kept putting off the decision. To this day, I don't know what persuaded him to change his mind.

But the minute he did, Marika (then 8 years old) and I headed to the dog adoption fair at the local pet store and found (and fell in love with) a little black and white bundle of fluff who became known as Haley -- named for the Hale-Bopp comet which was appearing that year. She was apparently a "rescued dog" from the back of a truck on the Navajo reservation and we felt sure she had chosen this moment and this time waiting for us to reach down and choose her from all the other puppies in the enclosure. In our family, she was going to get the love she deserved.

We thought we had simply chosen a very cute little mixed mutt -- half-this and half-that. She grew into a dead-ringer for a border collie. Unbeknownst at the time to Marika and me, Gil had particularly wanted a border collie when he agreed that we should get a dog. I don't know that the appeal was anything more than his wanting a very smart dog whose breed was famous for looking its owners directly in the eye -- something many breeds will not do -- but he had it in his mind to look for a border collie.

Border collies are always looking for direction from their owners and so stay focused on our faces for the next command. Herd the sheep? Chase the FedEx truck? Get the frisbee? Haley was no exception.

Haley surpassed all our expectations for a bright, engaging dog and Gil soon admitted that Haley needed a companion. That's when Marika and I drove from Albuquerque to southern Colorado to pick our next dog, Jamie, a pure-bred border collie, from among a litter of frisky black and white pups.

Jamie is very smart. She knows something is different tonight. She watches as tears pour down our faces and I'm quite certain she knows Haley is gone. Perhaps she doesn't know it's permanent but she knows that Haley is not in the house tonight and that she has never known a night without Haley sleeping at her side.

So now we will lavish our love and affection on Jamie and try to help her cope with the loss we are all feeling deeply tonight.

Fortunately, Marika and Evan were here this past week and saw for themselves as Haley's health took a turn for the worst. Although it was difficult, both said their goodbyes knowing that this would be the last time they would see Haley who taught them the joys of pet ownership and abiding trust between humans and animals.

Haiku:

Haley's life was good

She shared her best years with us

And we won't forget.

A Week in Albuquerque

We just got back from a week long visit in Albuquerque and it was hot but pleasant in all other ways.

Our trip was planned to coincide with our friends' visit back to Albuquerque from their home in Paris. Our dear friends, Kit and Jean-Claude Desjacques, only travel back to New Mexico every two years so this was our one opportunity to get together while they were here in the states. We had a long leisurely breakfast visit one morning and later in the week attended a "Welcome Back" cocktail party hosted by one of their friends the last night we were in town.

Gil's sister, Genie (The Donor!), met up with us in Albuquerque for the entire week. We all enjoyed the hospitality and guest accommodations of my other dearest of friends, Terry Lee Heller, who usually hosts me by myself for "girl-time" but this time allowed the "family reunion" of Raffs to share the lodging.

We were able to see a number of people whom Gil had not seen for almost eight years. His physician colleagues and spouses. Our Jewish community friends. My past investment club women friends and their husbands. We got to the galleries in Santa Fe. We ate at The Shed and Tomasita's -- both serving authentic New Mexican food with hot and flavorful green chile smothering every dish. Such a treat.

Gil and Genie hiked through Bandelier National Monument one day.

We had planned a garden party at Terry's house (which actually did have a new garden recently installed) and spent one whole day food shopping, and prepping and cooking. Of course, ten minutes after the party started and the guests arrived, a thunderstorm came up over the mountains and chased us all inside for the remainder of the evening. But even rainstorms are welcomed in Albuquerque because this has been a very dry season for the city and state.

We had lunch with another dear friend, Elsie Berry, who helped keep our house neat and clean and cared for our kids when Gil and I were working and raising our young family in Albuquerque many years ago. I'm guessing she worked for us for 15 years while we lived in New Mexico.

Gil's one-time cardiology partners either had us to dinner at their home (Thank you, Neal and Susan) or treated us to dinner out at Season's (Thank you, Barry and Roberta) or met us at The Flying Star -- a favorite cafe -- for late afternoon coffee (Thank you, Kathy Blake).

Our plates were FULL! We were busy morning to night.

There are so many of you we did not get to contact or visit with. My apologies. Since this was Gil's first long distance trip, we had to carefully orchestrate a schedule that didn't leave him exhausted and vulnerable at the end of each day.

So we will plan a second trip and catch up with all of you we missed this time during our next visit.

Update on the kids:

Adam and Laura went to a lab-sponsored celebration over the weekend as a final congratulations party for all his years of hard work. He's finished in the lab now and has a week off (!) before starting third year medical school studies on July 6th.

Evan finished his medical boards last week -- an enormous relief -- and is coming to Michigan tomorrow for a week of rest and relaxation. He goes back to LA to start third year medical studies on July 6th, also.

Marika is back from her volunteer medical work in Panama and jumped right in to her MCAT Review Course with Kaplan and her summer school course. She's coming to Michigan for the Fourth of July weekend and will overlap with Evan's visit.

Gil got the iPad he had ordered earlier in the month and is, at this very moment, loading it up with all his apps and programs even before he unpacks his suitcase! He's addicted to the cool Apple products coming out of Cupertino. Has his iPhone 4 to replace his 3GS on order as well.

Okay. Vacation's over. Back to work!

Milford Garden Wannabe

"When I grow up, I wannabe a big, full, bountiful, blooming garden -- like Deb Peters' garden being featured on the Milford Garden Walk today," said my hopeful little garden surrounding our front porch.

"Okay," I said with a smile. "With a little love and sun and fertilizer, I think I can get you there."

Yesterday morning, when the morning light was just coming up, Gil and I headed over to (our friend) Deb's garden to photograph it at its height of display and before the throngs of garden gawkers come today to trample the grass, behold the blooms and get inspired to go home and try to get the same effect from similar planting ideas in their own gardens.

Gardeners get inspired by seeing what fellow gardeners can create -- unusual color groupings, intermingling of different heights of plants, and choosing foliage to serve as unique backgrounds for the more showy flowers.

Gil has an eye for the "detail hidden in the scene" and yesterday's photographic expedition was no exception. He found so many opportunities to capture just the right garden moment.

Yesterday's photo of leaves with morning dew above is one of my favorites.

Today is the Milford Garden Walk and includes six such gardens.

I plan to go and "trample the grass, behold the blooms and get inspired to go home and try to get the same effect from similar planting ideas in my own garden."

Haiku:

All things bloom in time

Given enough rain and sun

Late bloomers do, too!

One Year Anniversary

It was exactly one year ago today that Gil was admitted to the ER at Beaumont Hospital.

Marika had just gotten home from Santa Barbara having finished her sophomore year at UCSB. She had completed a rigorous week of final exams and was ready for much needed time to catch up on sleep.

At the time, I was still taking antibiotics for a diagnosis of pneumonia which had landed me in the hospital the week before for a course of IV antibiotics.

Due to the pneumonia, we had just cancelled our trip to Santiago where Gil was going to give a talk and we were going to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. Surprisingly, at the time, Gil wasn't disappointed that we had to cancel our travel plans. "I'm really not feeling that well myself," he said.

When what we thought was a bad case of the flu worsened during the weekend, Gil's internist had him come to the ER. One look at the lab work and the diagnosis of leukemia only lacked final confirmation by a bone marrow biopsy.

That began the odyssey for the next seven weeks of diagnostic workups, identification of chromosomal defects, treatment options, insertion of a central venous line and the first of many weeks of chemotherapy, platelets and blood transfusions and total parenteral nutrition to keep...his...body...going.

A huge call-out to Dr. Zekman who directed Gil's treatment and gave hope when we were nearing despair. He directed Gil's care, called in specialists and coordinated all aspects of a very difficult situation.

Marika and I kept his spirits going in the early days. The boys and Laura arrived very early in the course of Gil's hospitalization to visit and buy the Kindle and the lightweight laptop that would keep him connected to the outside world. (He wouldn't be stepping out into the world again for seven weeks.)

Sisters Genie and Meryl came. We were all tested for donor matching potential. Genie drew the lucky number! Perfect match. She went back to California waiting to be called back when the time was right.

Childhood friend Barry Mennen came from NY to spend a weekend. Cousin Peter came from Seattle to lend support.

Fast forward. Gil came home in August for a month to get strong and regain his lost weight (all 35 pounds).

He had decided to seek the offered stem cell transplant here in Michigan at the Karmanos Cancer Center. In preparation for the transplant, he was readmitted to Beaumont for a second course of chemotherapy.

Adam came back to visit twice. Evan came. Marika left to go back to school as a Junior.

Admission to Karmanos in September was the beginning of the most hopeful of all treatments -- the final course of chemotherapy to destroy all his stem cells in preparation for the "rescue" Genie's stem cells would provide. Scary stuff.

The story, as you know, has a happy ending.

Gil is almost eight months post-transplant. He has the immune system of an eight month old baby. He is nearly off his immunosuppressive medications but it is not unusual for stem cell recipients to be on these medications for a full year. He is "looking good!"

We all learned a lot about blood cancers and neutrophils. We learned about the importance of family. About the generosity of friends. And we drew heavily on the karma points in the Raff spiritual bank.

We made good friends with fellow transplant patients who we continue to have dinners with each month celebrating our good fortune.

Thanks to each of you for your small part in Gil's recovery -- from neighbors who brought food, to friends who tended my garden, to visitors who kept up Gil's spirits, to nurses who gave great care, to colleagues at Beaumont who covered and kept things running smoothly.

Haiku:

Anniversary.

With full gratitude and hope.

Knowing what it takes.

Summer: Cookout and Haircut

I guess we've officially embraced summer in Michigan. The first photo shows Gil's skills fanning the flames of the public grill in Kensington Metro Park a couple of weeks ago. The kids were here along with my mom and we had a cookout to mark the occasion.

The next photo is me just moments after I got my summer haircut. I was in the car leaving the salon and used the camera in my iPhone to snap the shot -- hence the seatbelt in the picture!

We've been busy making plans to visit our friends in Albuquerque near the end of this month. Flying is very expensive these days. There are no good "deals" to be had. We're fortunate to get free room and board with our dear friend Terry Lee while in Albuquerque. Her hospitality and accommodations are second to none.

Our longtime friend, Kit, and her husband, Jean Claude, are coming to Albuquerque from their home in Paris and will be in town the same time we are there. In fact, it's the main reason we chose to visit Albuquerque at that time. It's been ages since we've seen them. And we miss them.

Marika is in the midst of finals and will leave the day after she finishes her last exam to go to Panama for her Global Medical Brigades experience. She's been vaccinated for all the tropical diseases and is prepared for an extraordinary adventure with over 60 fellow volunteers from Santa Barbara.

The day she gets back from her 10 day travel experience, she jumps into her Kaplan Study Course for the MCAT exam (which she is scheduled to take in early September.) She'll stay in Santa Barbara during July taking a summer school class for the first UCSB summer quarter. Then she'll come to Michigan for the second half of the summer in August to finish studying and review for the MCAT on her own.

Adam and Laura are working through the summer in their respective labs. Adam will get one week off between his last day in lab and his first day of third year medical school. But the most important thing they're doing these next couple of weeks is cheering for their favorite NBA team -- the Celtics -- in this year's tournament.

Evan is rounding the corner and on his final lap as he continues to study for his required 2nd year Board exams. He's planning a vacation for the week immediately after. His plans for an exotic European trip may not materialize but he has scheduled one of his scheduled two weeks here in Michigan where he can sit on the porch, play with the dogs, do crossword puzzles, swim in our neighbors' pool, work out at our local gym, play some golf, eat good healthy food and sleep late. (Marika is coming home for the Fourth of July weekend and their time here will overlap.)

Gil and I went walking today on the Milford Bike Trail. He used the walking poles and I took Jamie on the leash. We've had a lot of rain lately so walks have been postponed. But we're getting back into it.

Gil is keeping busy with researching and writing a review article on radiation doses in cardiac CT scans. He says he's learning a lot by reading everything that's been published on the subject lately. He's splitting his work between the hospital and a 'virtual office'. Having an office in downtown Milford where he can read studies on his on-call days and otherwise work in a distraction free environment has made him very productive. He's feeling good about the amount of work he's getting accomplished.

I'm working out at the gym, doing all the cooking (it was quiche tonight!) and house maintenance, catching up on reading. I'm currently reading a great collection of short stories called The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis which I highly recommend. I first borrowed it from the library but bought my own copy soon after because I wanted to have it around. It's that good!

The garden is coming along beautifully. We've decided on a purple and white color scheme in one of the front beds and I'll take a photo of it in its full glory later this week to post on the blog.

We're coming up to Gil's one year anniversary of learning he had leukemia and all that would entail during the next (past) year. It was the end of May one year ago when I got pneumonia, we cancelled our trip to Spain and he started feeling sick. By June 13th, he had been admitted to the ER in pretty dire straits, and the following day, June 14th, his leukemia diagnosis had been confirmed via the first of many bone marrow biopsies.

Fortunately, this summer looks to be a lot healthier for all of us.