Losing Bonnie

Our friend and fellow stem cell transplant recipient, Bonnie Opper, died this morning. We are devastated. We did not get to say "goodbye" to her. Our community has lost a gentle, loving, devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister and human being.

This photo was taken on October 14th, 2010.

We were having our monthly dinner at Outback Steakhouse in Lansing. We were celebrating our one year anniversary of stem cell transplant. Bonnie and Steve brought their daughter, Callie, who ordered her favorite "macaroni and cheese." I had just handed out a photo album of our past year year of recovery to Bonnie and to Mark Cornell, our other transplant recipient.

They turned the pages, recalling the moments we all shared together on the hospital unit during the transplantation and the months of recovery that followed. We laughed. We cried. We rejoiced.

We had a wonderful evening together that night and Bonnie brought the "carrot cake" which we also had at our "100 Days" celebration dinner together. It seemed as if it was going to become a "tradition." It seemed as if it was going to be another good year for all three of us.

It wasn't to be.

We have lost a comrade, a friend, a survivor who did not survive.

We will remember her.

Haiku:

You were one of us

'Til you were taken away

Life won't be the same.

Thanksgiving Gratitude and Beyond

Goodness. It's been a long time since I've updated our Raff Update blog site. My apologies.

I'm showing two photos of our family over the Thanksgiving weekend. Marika and Evan and my mom and my brother all arrived for our four-day celebration of cooking, eating, and enjoying our time together. Our house is just the right size for our family reunions. Adam and Laura couldn't join us but hosted their own feast in LA with some invited friends.

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we look ahead to the Winter Holiday vacation. Marika arrives tonight (!) at the Detroit airport for a long four week rest -- although it will be filled with MCAT study time mixed with visiting friends and relaxing.

Evan is in NYC doing a general medicine rotation until next week. He flies back to LA for a required medical school exam but will be here in Michigan on December 19th for a couple of weeks with us. Adam is coming on December 19th (coming in on the same flight from LA) for less than a week when he'll leave Michigan and head to Boston to meet up with Laura.

My mom is coming here in a few days from Kentucky and will drive with me to Rochester, NY for four days to help my brother get his new apartment set up. He moved to Rochester a month ago for a new job and I offered to help him make his apartment into a "home."

Gil is working happily at the hospital and here in his Milford office. He loves having the kids around and he is enjoying good health. He also has become intensely interested in the stock market and can spend hours of his free time reading books written by successful traders and comparing various trading systems. He still loves photography but the weather is not conducive, so reading inside next to the fireplace is the winter activity of choice.

I'm staying healthy and working out at Pilates or at our local YMCA five days a week. I still spend a lot of time working with Willow to make her into the kind of dog we can love and take anywhere without worrying that she'll misbehave. She is one sweet girl. Jamie continues to be a good role model and mentor.

Hunkering down for another long Michigan winter but I can gladly report that it's been a rather sunny month of December so far. Nothing dreary or too gray.

Yes, the sun sets early (5:02 pm today) these days and the sun reappears after our morning has already started (7:52 am today) but it's been a good beginning to the season so far and we're rather used to using our winter months as a time to sit, relax, reflect, cook and eat good healthy meals together.

Haiku:

Once the sun goes down

We hunker down and savor

The quiet moments.

Two Lucky Ducks

The first "lucky duck" is Gil. He's made it through Year One of his stem cell transplant with only a few minor glitches. He's happy. He's healthy. And judging from his most recent post on this blog site, he's in love! (Thank you for the lovely mention, Gil.)

The first photo above is of Gil standing in front of the sliding glass doors (10 Webber North at Karmanos) beyond which the carefully protected stem cell recipients are either preparing for their transplants or recovering from them.

As a celebration of Gil's one year anniversary, we went up to the unit to visit the nurses and staff who took care of him during his illness. We came bearing gifts of food (chocolate drizzled pretzel rods!) and a scrapbook I had made of photos of the transplant and Gil's recovery and his year at home since resuming his normal life.

The second "lucky duck" is Willow's favorite toy -- aptly named Ducky -- a squeaky little yellow companion who has agreed to curl up snugly anywhere, anytime with her now-best-friend.

Willow is a regular at Camp Bow Wow (doggy daycare!) in nearby Brighton a couple of times a week when I have plans for the day and cannot be around to "watch" her and prevent puppy-chew-damage. She and her canine pals are referred to as campers, they take their noon-time naps in their assigned cabins (separate kennel runs with little doggy cots), and the human playmates/caregivers at the camp are their counselors!

Tonight we set our clocks back. This is a good thing because both Gil and I are very early risers. We have had to wait for HOURS for the sun to come up and get our days started. We get up early because we both have our best energy surges in the early part of the day, and our puppy is ready to get going on her day's plans as well.

I spent the day cleaning out my garden of summer's spent blooms and readying it for winter. I'll be spreading the fallen raked leaves among the plantings to protect them from the winter cold and give them the micronutrients they need to come back strong and healthy in the spring.

Haiku:

Dark turns into light

Fall back. It's that time of year.

Everything slows down now.

My anniversary

This week is the anniversary of my stem cell transplant. It certainly makes me thoughtful about what’s important to me. First, there are all of you who showed your ‘true colors’ when I was so sick. That’s unforgettable.

Equally unforgettable are the colors of autumn that are returning this week; at one point I wasn’t sure if I would see them again. However, it would be wrong to say I was downcast about it. At that point I was ready to ‘move on’ if that was what lay in the cards.

I’ve spent a lot of time with my family this year; certainly more than in decades. Instead of only traveling to a work conference, I’ve specifically traveled to see the kids and my dear sister, Genie the transplant donor. My sister Meryl came all the way from Israel and camped out with us for weeks to get me through it all. She even sent her son, Dov Baer, to represent her 31 children and grandchildren. Add to that Peter, and Lois...and I wish I could name everyone....

I’ve seen friends like Ron Fishbein whom I hadn’t seen in 30 years and Barry Mennen who has been a fixture in my life (and lived between Ron and me on our ‘booming Brooklyn block’).

I started back swimming this month, which doesn’t sound like much but since the transplant prevented it for a year, it was a big landmark and I missed it.

I’ve returned to work with full force and enthusiasm, and for me, like many, that is a touchstone of what I do and who I am in the world. I can't thank my friends from work enough, at Beaumont and around the world, for having faith that I would return (and keeping my seat warm).

Most of all, I love my wife Karen and owe everything to her. She was with me every day and night throughout some very long and dreary months. You should have someone like her…I strongly recommend it. This photo from our recent New Hampshire vacation is dedicated to her.

Gil

Milford Street Scene

Pictured above are Gil and his sister, Genie, having lunch at a sidewalk table at The Main Street Tavern and Grill in downtown Milford.

After Gil and I returned from our trip to the White Mountains last weekend, we had a few days to spend with Genie who had graciously flown in the week before from Petaluma to "puppy-sit" for Willow while we were on our vacation.

On Sunday, we happened upon the Antique Car Show lining Milford's Main Street. We had brought the dogs with us to socialize the puppy and to meet Gil for lunch. The weather was perfect for eating outdoors and the dogs got their share of attention by passersby.

Genie and I proceeded on to the Milford Home Tour which was also happening that weekend and which featured six houses that are in the Milford Village's Historic Register. The home owners had painstakingly renovated these homes and followed strict guidelines about what could and could not be removed, replaced, refurbished and resurrected. I had walked by these homes many times and always wondered what they looked like inside. Now was my chance. I was not disappointed.

We took Genie to the airport for her return flight to California at the beginning of this week. Since then I have been the main caregiver for Willow -- no easy task. She's combined her "terrible twos," her "adolescent agitation," and her "senior senility" all into one glorious "I'm planning to rule the roost around here and you'd better get used to it!" hellfire attitude.

She's a handful these days. Up at 4:30 am ready to start her day. Not going to bed until 10:30 pm at night. Where does she get the energy?

We have a quiet weekend planned. Rest. Rest. And more rest.

Haiku:

Willow's energy

Should be harnessed and sold to

Reduce oil dependence!

Heading Back to California

You're witnessing a very poignant moment. Gil and I were driving Marika to the airport after six weeks of having her with us this summer. She is holding Willow who has fallen asleep in her arms. She has raised this puppy for the last six weeks into the loving, gentle creature we have come to love and adore.

Gil and I are packed and leaving for the airport for our New Hampshire vacation. Genie is here with the puppy and they should become good friends by the time we get back.

Short but sweet today. More later when we return.

Three Generations on Rosh Hashanah

You are viewing a photo of three generations of my family near the end of our erev Rosh Hashanah dinner on Wednesday. Marika is on the left, my mom Helen is in the middle, and yours truly is on the right.

We've had a busy week.

Gil's sister, Genie, is here visiting for two weeks. We have asked her to "dog sit" while we go on a short vacation. And we all thought it would be best if Genie spent the week before we leave learning "the ways of the Willow."

Last week I had emailed my mom and brother that they should consider driving up from Kentucky and spending part of a week visiting. I was thinking of sometime after Gil and I got back from our vacation, but they answered right away, "How about tomorrow?"

And so they arrived and we have a full house with all three of the upstairs bedrooms occupied.

On the third day of my mom's visit, after a very busy, hectic day of taking care of the puppy and cooking and visiting, my mom complained of "not feeling well" which earned her a trip to the local emergency room.

Long story short: She did not have a heart attack. However, there was EKG and cardiac enzyme evidence of heart muscle damage and it was decided she should undergo a cardiac catheterization.

We were all prepared for her to get an intervention during the procedure -- placement of a stent or an angioplasty -- but surprise of surprises! She had no coronary blockages at all. Her coronary arteries were absolutely clear.

It was determined that the symptoms she was experiencing mimicked a heart attack but was not caused by a coronary obstruction. The symptoms were caused by a microvasculature event. She and my brother will be driving home tomorrow and she is as healthy as when she arrived.

And she's going home knowing that she has clean coronary arteries and doesn't need to worry about cholesterol-laden, artery-clogging foods anymore.

I've taken lots of photos of the puppy and will upload those to a new blog entry in the next few days.

Haiku:

Lots of family

Cooking, eating, laughing,

Together again.